Tag Archives: #StrongerThanLupus

I am tired…

Open letter to my love…

I am tired. I know you try to understand. You see me go to sleep, you see me wake up. Each and every day is a struggle for me in some other way. Today I might have a hard time holding my head up. Tomorrow I might have a hard time bending over to pick up something I have dropped, and I will drop something often. I am tired. I am tired of being held captive by the monsters that have my mind and body in their steely grip. I never know what kind of day it’s going to be, and I never know what I may be able to accomplish today if anything at all. I may not always be able to think clearly enough to help you with things or the girls with their homework, remember to pay a bill or sometimes even pay one twice! I may forget to stir the food on the stove or take it out of the oven and maybe it will burn. Of course you understand so this will never bother you but it upsets me, because I feel that I’m not doing a good job of taking care of you. I am tired. I am tired of smiling and pretending that everything is okay when inside I feel like crying. At times I hide my deepest feelings inside myself because there’s nothing you can do and I don’t want you suffering for me, this is one thing you just can’t fix. I love that you take the time to understand how difficult each day, each task is for me. Although I am tired of fighting a battle that I feel we may never win, we can’t and won’t stop. I do the very best that I can every day, still not ahead. It feels at times that its never enough. It costs precious energy that I cannot spare to keep fighting and I’d rather save that energy so that I can spend time with you. It might not be a lot of time, but I try to make it quality happy time. I try not to complain, no matter how much pain I may be in or how tired I am. But I am so very tired… I am tired of being sick. I wish that things could go back to the way they were before but I know they can’t. I am sorry I’m not the person you used to know or the happy fun mom that I used to be. No matter how hard I try, that person is lost. All you have left is the person who fights to remain strong, the person that sometimes needs help for the smallest of tasks, the person who has now become your fight too. I’m so grateful that you still look at me with that same loving stare, can laugh at my dumb jokes, are the best husband/father ever and just love me unconditionally. I am just so very tired and…I know you are too. We are tired. I am so happy that we at least have each other to be forever happily tired…together.

~Stacey 

Understanding Chronic Illness 

Just Krazed – Just for Fun in a Krazed World


More personal look at Stacey

A more personal look at Stacey…

I don’t dwell on my issues, that has never helped. The things I’ve endured in life, mine and my families struggles haven’t broken me, they’ve only made me that much stronger and more understanding.

My conditions do not and will never define ME however they will always be a part of me and I’m ready to share that part. ~Stacey 💞

Stacey’s Journey

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For me there are so~so days, bad days, really bad & then my OHH MY HOLY HELL days….Stacey

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Thank you for taking a few minutes to learn a little bit more…about me. It’s not all of me but a major part. They took a lot from me over the years and I had always wanted to do something where I could bring more of myself back while helping others. That is where most of the ideas for this page were born.☺️💞

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Always remember~You’re never alone with us!

Love & Gentle Hugs, Stacey 

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